Covenant House Vancouver

she was that bright eyed girl with the shy but beautiful smile. I can't seem to figure out why hanging out alone at the bleachers was her thing. I mean, with looks to die for and a sparkly personality to match, who wouldn't want to be around her? Smart, concise, and always right on the money whenever she contributed her thoughts in class. She had a lot of potential i tell you. sad to know it all went up in flames when she decided to take her life. The look on my face when i heard the news....man I couldn't begin to describe. How could she, why, and all other questions I asked in silence to myself. Pretty, smart girl like her, no way. So maybe its just gossip, a game of ''broken telephone'', afterall i did hear it through an online social network all the kids here like. But here it was poking me back to reality when Ms. Franklin in English class makes an announcement and requests a moment of silence in rememberance of Zara. In that moment i cant help but think ''it is true afterall''. I also think the rest of it must be true too. You know, the rest of it like how she really started hangin' out alone only after her friends/ ''facebook friends'' failed to be there for her when trouble began at home. I remember hearing also that she posted incerpts of how terrible she was feelin' numerous times on her page. A definate cry for help. she must have thought atleast one of the 450 ''friends'' on her facebook would have reached out to help. I guess not huh? Turns out she left a note. in secret i hope for her sake this note doesn't make it onto some opportunistic ''memorial'' fb page. It reads....... I wish you knew that every night i cry myself to sleep. I wish you knew that each time you called me your ''friend'' i believed you. I wish you knew that there was more going on in my life than the pics of me drinking and lookin like i'm havin a great time posted on my wall. You'd have known had you asked anything more than ''what you doing this weekend'' I wish you knew that i too at some point was just like you, calling ,myself a friend but not really paying attention. I wish you knew just how lonely i felt, looking at a screen that says 450 friends and yet no one thought to respond to my s.o.s status reports. It continues some more. But @ this point i'm not listenin' anymore because i'm thinkin' of how sad and dissappointed she at the time she wrote this note. i'm also thinkin of wht i wish the kids @ my sch 'knew.. I wish you all knew that friendship is a valuable thing. One that is hard earned and must be cherished as though it were a rare diamond. I wish we all used the words we utter to others in an uplifting way. I wish we were all sincere. Meaning what we say always. Honoring the commitments we make. Friendship is a commitment. Not to be taken lightly. And like with all other commitments it works best and is most rewarding when made a priority. lets all pick priorities we know we can handle, ones we knw we can pay close attention to. The smallest of things said or acted out to those we call ''friends'' often have a huge impact. With that sais i wish you knew the term ''friend'' is not one to be used loosely. I know this though, we all know a ''Zara''. Maybe yours didnt physically die, maybe they are still exchanging meaningless ''what's going on'' questions with you via some online network. its great that we have mediums through which we can connect with people all over. But what good is it if most of it is shallow and blase. lets all make our friendships significant.