From Exploitation to Exploration

Dana comes from a well-educated family in West Asia, where both of their parents are lawyers. Dana identifies as a member of the 2SLGBTQAI+ community, and as a family, they worked together to develop an understanding as to what it means to be a member of this community. Dana’s mom came to the realization that she could relate to some of the communities in the 2SLGBTQAI+ acronym. Dana’s dad was proud to be an ally. Both are very supportive.

Dana’s home country is intolerant of the 2SLGBTQAI+ community, and it was not safe to live there. Their parents decided that Dana should live abroad where they would be safe. In the interim, Dana went to Malaysia for three years, where they received their high school diploma and student visa, so they could study in Canada.

Dana’s parents were working with someone to facilitate Dana’s trip to Canada. This person had an associate who began to contact the parents with lies, to undermine their confidence in the person that they had been working with. This new agent soon secured the parents’ trust and told the parents that he would pick Dana up at the airport and that Dana could stay with him, until they found a suitable place to live.

Dana began going to a college that the agent had enrolled them in. The college felt dangerous, and Dana suspected that it was a front for nefarious activity. Dana wished to leave. The agent said that Dana needed to come up with $5,000 for legal aid (a service that Dana later learned was free) and that Dana needed to pay the college $10,000 to leave or the college would have them deported and criminally charged. Dana’s parents paid the requested fees.

The agent was married and the couple fought often. Shortly into Dana’s stay, the couple would take Dana to mosques, where they could eat for free while still charging Dana for food. They were also forced to do chores.

To prevent Dana from leaving, the agent convinced them that it was far too dangerous for Dana to go outside. The agent persuaded Dana to stop looking for accommodation because of the rising cost of housing. Instead, the couple said that Dana could stay with them for free, and sleep on the floor of the dining hall.

After the first month, the agent told Dana that the landlord had discovered that the couple had an extra person in their suite and that Dana now had to pay $600 a month. Dana feared the man, so whether this was a legitimate claim or not, Dana paid.

Life continued to spiral downwards for Dana. The agent would assault his wife in front of Dana, but then both of them would blame Dana for the troubles that they were having. Not wanting to worry their parents, as they were overseas and couldn’t do anything, Dana mentioned nothing to their parents. Dana felt alone.

One day, Dana tried to lighten the mood by buying the board game, Monopoly. When the wife ran out of money, she threw the game in Dana’s face and exclaimed, “You are doing this in real life as well. You two are partnering up to screw me over and steal all my money!”

Dana heard glass break in the other room. The agent went in and the two argued, while Dana cried in the bathroom. At 2am, the couple left the house. Dana was still crying in the bathroom when they came back at around 5am. The wife went into the bathroom, grabbed Dana, and told them to shut up, as the wife began to recount the last few hours that the couple were out. She told Dana that they almost took their lives on a nearby bridge, and that all of the problems between the couple were Dana’s fault.

The agent was also a shoplifter. When they would go to the store, in addition to shoving things into his own pockets, he would shove items into Dana’s. In Dana’s mind, if they were caught, they thought that they would be deported immediately.

Somewhere around the three-month mark, the agent called Dana’s parents. He had come up with a scheme to solicit more money from them. He told the parents that he was going to have a house built and that would mean a better quality of life for Dana, but he needed a down payment of $25,000. Since the parents thought that Dana was happy where they were, the parents wired the agent the money.

One day, while the agent was out, the wife confided in Dana that she was from the same country as Dana and was forced into marrying the agent. She also felt trapped. Dana didn’t know if any of this was true, but this added to Dana’s stress.

There were times that the wife would force Dana to sleep in the bed with her, while the agent slept on the floor. The wife told Dana that she didn’t feel safe, and that the agent might do something to her at any time. This made Dana feel extremely unsafe.

There was a storage area in the house that the couple called the den. This was the room that Dana was paying $600 a month for, yet there was no room for Dana, only the suitcases.

During the four months that Dana was with the couple, on at least five occasions, they would take Dana’s suitcases from the den and hurl the suitcases out the front door. The couple would tell Dana to leave, knowing that Dana didn’t have any money to do so. The actions were to make Dana feel like they had nowhere to go and that they were lucky to have the couple in their life. Dana had to beg to come back and stay with them.

The last straw for Dana was at Christmas. They went out and bought the agent and the wife gifts. When Dana returned with the gifts, the couple berated Dana because they were gone longer than 20 minutes. The wife shunned the gifts.

In desperation, Dana called their mom and asked if she had the contact information of a distant cousin who lived locally. The last time that Dana’s mom had seen the cousin was when they were children.

Dana’s mom was able to contact the cousin. The cousin was working, so Dana’s mom thought that it might take a couple of days before he could pick Dana up.

The couple were once again fighting in another room, so Dana decided to call their dad. While Dana was talking to him, the wife came out and started yelling at Dana: “Instead of apologizing to me, you are calling someone. Who are you calling?” Then the wife got physical with Dana and tore the phone out of Dana’s hands.

The next 48 hours were a pure nightmare for Dana. They were not allowed to eat or sleep. After two days, the cousin arrived. It was dark out and when he arrived, and although gaunt and tired, Dana found the strength to go grab the suitcases and throw them in the car. In the dark, the cousin could not see Dana crying. Dana was afraid to go back inside and demand their money, for they feared that something would happen if they went back in. So, with no explanation or goodbye, Dana left.

Dana estimates that, in total, the couple had extorted $60,000 from Dana’s parents.

Dana stayed with the cousin for two weeks. There were two families living in the house, so it was quite chaotic, and Dana knew that they couldn’t stay there for long. During that time, Dana phoned around to try and find somewhere to help them. Dana viewed shelters and other places, but many were frequented by habitual drug users, and no one could guarantee Dana’s safety.

During this time, the couple had contacted Dana’s parents and said that Dana had run away and that they were on the street looking for them. That thought terrified Dana.

During Dana’s search for a place to stay, they discovered Covenant House Vancouver (CHV) and the Drop-In Centre. Dana commuted to the Drop-In Centre every day. Each day, Dana would ask if there was an opening, but at that time, the Crisis Program was full. It was cold and snowing, but Dana persisted with the daily commute and contact. The commute was terrifying, because Dana knew that the agent was out there looking for them and had threatened Dana that if they were ever found, they would be punished.

After two weeks, Dana’s persistence paid off and they received a bed in the Crisis Program. Dana immediately contacted the police as they wanted to press charges. The police said that there wasn’t enough evidence to press charges, but created a file, provided Dana with a contact number, and said that if the couple ever show up that the police could get a restraining order against them.

Dana also consulted a lawyer about getting the $60,000 back from the agent. The advice that the lawyer provided was that it would cost Dana a lot to hire a lawyer, and the best-case scenario would be that Dana would get $5,000–$10,000, if they won. The recommendation was that it wasn’t worth the expense or the stress.

Dana spent the first few months in the Crisis Program just trying to recover from their ordeal. Mental health was not something that their country invested resources in, so Dana was unfamiliar with how to take care of theirs. According to Dana, you were either healthy enough to work and earn money, or you were put into a mental hospital. After about four months, Dana began to work on their trauma through counselling.

Dana enjoyed the regular outings, access to the gym, and interacting with youth workers. “The routine really helps keep you on track with your mental and physical health. Consistent interactions with staff are comparable to lifting up someone who is drowning. I feel really blessed to be here.”

Dana is an artist and has been working on their refugee status so that they can attend school to pursue their craft. Dana is a songwriter and visual artist, who works in many mediums.

Being such a diverse artist, Dana’s dad would say that “You are an ocean full of talent with a depth of one millimetre.” Dana mentioned that they didn’t have the opportunity to pursue their passion as an artist, because their home country thought that artists were a “waste of space and not beneficial to society.”

Through CHV, Dana has been working with the Arts Umbrella. Last fall, Dana presented one of their art pieces, in front of 900 people, at an Arts Umbrella event.

Another element that Dana has been working on is employment. With the help of youth workers, Dana created a resume which helped them obtain a part-time job.

Dana enjoys learning and their goal is to obtain a bachelor’s degree in technology, AI, or UX/UI design. Ideally, they would love to take their skills and be able to work remotely, because Dana loves to travel. Dana can speak four languages and would love to immerse themselves in different cultures.

Dana is also grounded. In addition to world travel, Dana would really love to own a house and bring their mom to Canada, because they feel that their home country is not safe for her. They would also love to bring their dad over, but their dad has an NGO and is helping to save 2SLGBTQAI+ lives back home, so Dana feels that their dad would not leave. “He’s the most awesome dad ever, and considering that his dad died when he was three, it’s amazing how great of a dad he has become without him having a role model.”

Dana has been at CHV for one year now. Dana now has their refugee status. Considering how fresh the trauma is, Dana is doing incredibly well. In fact, they wanted to share their story in the hopes of possibly helping or inspiring another youth.

Thank you, Dana, for sharing your story. We look forward to learning more about your progress, goals, and aspirations.